How to stop battling with your inner critic
“When we direct a lot of hostile energy toward the inner critic, we enter into a losing battle.” - Sharon Salzberg
If someone was constantly putting you down, you'd probably take steps to put an end to that behaviour and/or relationship. But what happens when your harshest critic is inside your head?. The little voice telling you that everything you do is not good enough or will end in disaster.
Most of us have an inner critic. I definitely do and I spent a lot of my career wrongly listening to my inner critic and believing she was telling the truth. She wasn’t!! Our thoughts are beliefs and not the truth (I bet your inner critic is going mad hearing this!!).
It's the radio that's always on giving us a running unwanted commentary of our lives, putting a negative spin on our achievements and our aspiration. It sucks up a lot of headspace.
This article focuses on the inner critic; when it's most likely to appear; and why it's valuable (yes! It really is valuable!); and importantly, how to make sure we retain our power and don’t allow our inner critic to run the show.
What’s your inner critic saying to you and what’s the impact?
Do you feel equipped to take your power back? Your inner critic is only as powerful as you allow him/her to be.
Any type of negative self-talk can deeply erode self-belief. This is why this particular article is important to me. We all have enough external challenges, quieting the internal challenge of our inner critic and taking our power back is so liberating, I’d love everyone to know how to do this. By quieting my inner critic, I created so much more headspace for the things I really want to do each day. It felt like the fog was finally lifting.
What is an inner critic?
A term to personify the negative thoughts we have about ourselves. Also, commonly called gremlins or negative inner voice.
What does your inner critic say? Or, what negative thoughts do you have about what you do?
Who do you think you are? You are NOT an expert.
You are not good enough.
Don't put your hand up. You don't know the answer.
Others are way more experienced than you and so much better.
They are getting faster than you, you always take longer.
You don't deserve success. You haven’t worked hard enough.
If you speak your mind, they'll think that you are weak.
Success is for people with talent, not you.
You are not original, everyone’s heard it before, don’t say anything.
You really stuffed up that meeting.
What's the impact of your inner critic having power over you?.
You may find that you:
Doubt yourself
Look externally for validation
Leave projects unstarted or unfinished
Play it small convincing yourself there's no point in doing the work you want to do
Feel anxious and frustrated as you take longer to do what you really want to do or don’t do it at all
Believe your inner critic is telling the truth
Become obsessed with proving your inner critic is wrong and work even harder
Become over critical of yourself and critical of others
Why do we have an inner critic?
It’s a simple answer, to keep us safe.
The inner critic is protecting us from shame, criticism, failure and other feelings we really want to avoid. The inner critic comes from a place of love and is saying everything it can to keep us in our comfort zones and stop us from stepping outside where it might be unsafe. The inner critic’s only mission and purpose is to keep us safe and it takes its job REALLY seriously!
The inner critic is valuable because it makes us think about what might go wrong, the worst-case scenario. BUT it's NOT the only voice to listen to. We lose our power when we only listen to our inner critic. The trick is to listen to the inner critic, but make an informed decision as to the action we take.
Why our inner critic is SHOUTING really LOUD right now
1. Exhaustion
When we're exhausted and we've been juggling more than usual, our thoughts are a playground for our inner critic who takes over and says the nastiest things. Rest, focusing on your needs and refilling your bucket of energy is your first priority.
2. Lots of Emotions
It’s very natural to feel lots of emotions right now. If we're sad, anxious, grieving, or angry our inner critics are often triggered. It wants to keep us safe and sees these emotions as a signal its needed to step in and do its job. Our inner critic will usually go into overdrive making us even more self-critical. But remember, you are not alone, the inner critic does this to all of us.
3. Self-limiting beliefs
If you, like many others, already have a self-limiting belief such as “I’m not good enough”, your inner critic will be shouting loud and proud and using this as it’s weapon to keep you safe and stop you from doing what you really want to do. It wants to protect you from a perceived risk. The impact is that it can make things like accepting mistakes, asking for help or handling criticism from others, especially challenging.
Five steps to quieten your inner critic and take your power back.
What’s your inner critic saying to you and what’s the impact? What's your number one priority with dealing with your inner critic?. Do you feel equipped to take your power back? Your inner critic is only as powerful as you allow him/her to be. Any type of negative self-talk can deeply erode your self-belief. If you've spotted what your inner critic is saying, or can't quite pick out what she's saying but know that there is a lot of noise in your head and would like some help to clear the noise please book a free no obligation call.
What’s your inner critic saying to you and what’s the impact? What's your number one priority with dealing with your inner critic?. Do you feel equipped to take your power back? Your inner critic is only as powerful as you allow him/her to be. Any type of negative self-talk can deeply erode your self-belief. If you've spotted what your inner critic is saying, or can't quite pick out what she's saying but know that there is a lot of noise in your head and would like some help to clear the noise please book a free no obligation call.