Why fear stops inclusion & 7 top tips to overcome it
Most people say yes to wanting an inclusive culture at work, then the fear sets in…….. What does inclusion mean? I'm not an expert…………what can I do? I should know more than I do……….
We stop, not knowing what to do.
We wait.
We wait for the head of inclusion to tell us what to do, for the magic silver bullet to solve everything.
What if we stop waiting?. Stop being afraid?.
This article is all about moving from waiting, fear, and inaction to action.
My old pattern, which I was stuck in for many years was; “I’m fully supportive of inclusion. I'll do what I can. I'll attend events. Then, I’ll get on with my day job, because that always takes priority……”
Who told us that Inclusion was a thing that gets added to our “to do list”!?
Inclusion doesn’t even need to be on the “to do list”! YOU need to be on your “to do list”.
The gift of wanting an inclusive culture is that it makes each of us stop, and spend time on ourselves. How often do you do that in your working day?. It makes us put ourselves as individuals, on our to do list, and at the top of our to do list. If we want inclusion, we can't be an afterthought.
What does inclusion mean to you?. For me, it is all about everyone feeling they can speak up, be heard and be themselves. I didn't always feel I could do this. There were internal barriers and external barriers. I couldn’t control the external barriers. I discovered that by focusing on my internal barriers, I made the biggest positive shift in my career.
My internal barriers were all about fear. Fear of rejection, saying the wrong thing, being ostracised, being called “not inclusive” or “exclusive”. My fear often showed up as perfectionism, “I need to do more research, become an expert, speak to so and so, do a million things before I am ready to speak about inclusion”. My inner critic became a killer critic and kept telling me that I wasn't expert enough that I was going to offend somebody, that everybody would just think I'm not a very nice person if I actually speak up, and I'd actually make things worse for myself and for the organisation.
My new pattern, I learned the importance of the inclusion mindset. If an individual believes inclusion will bring good things then that impacts behaviour. I moved from; “I've heard this before, give me something new, give me something that's going to work quickly” to “I believe in inclusion. Let me listen and see what differences I think about and what different things I want to do”. By changing the way I showed up, and by changing the way I listened, I changed the way I behaved. I changed my approach to inclusion, and I became an inclusive leader. More people listening and taking responsibility for inclusion will help to further progress. The goal to ensure that we are creating a workplace environment where everyone can be themselves. Small things we all do make the biggest impact.
I learned to stop trying to solve it today in one action. It's about each of us taking small consistent actions which will lead to collective change.
Fear stopped me from doing anything. I believe on this journey for an inclusive culture, doing nothing is not an option. We each have to do something. So what can I do? Here are my seven top tips on what you can do as an individual, to help create an inclusive culture in your organisation. This, of course, does not mean organisations need to their bit to remove external barriers, but as I explained, let’s all stop waiting and let’s try the below instead.
1. Know where to start.
With YOU.
There is no silver bullet. Start with how you show up, how you speak to someone, how you listen to someone, how you respond, how you are in whatever you do will impact inclusion for you and for others. Inclusion can be a noisy scary place so knowing where to start is crucial.
2. Be honest with yourself.
Where are you right now on this journey? What are your thoughts about inclusion?. Do you believe in it?. Do you think that it's going to happen?, Is somebody going to come up with a solution?. What are your thoughts around it, check in on them and check in on whether they're the truth, whether they're excuses to, to make you think that it's somebody else's job, and you're just there for the ride. You can’t control external barriers but you can control your thoughts. Your thoughts control how you show up each day. Try “I believe in inclusion. Let me listen and see what differences I think about and what different things I can do each day”
3. Connect with your inclusion vision.
What would an inclusive culture actually mean to you?. Is it something you really want?. How are you going to get there?. Think about what inclusion means to you personally.
Inclusion must mean something to you personally. Does it mean that you can turn up each day completely be yourself talk about anything you like, be heard and feel that you're heard and feel that you're listened to? Whatever it is, connect to that feeling. When you talk to anybody else, make sure you think of that feeling.
4. Be proactive in educating yourself.
Be aware of your own privileges and bias. We all have them. Learn from and attend your own Employee Resource Groups events or other free events, continue to read. This will give you knowledge and confidence. It doesn't need to be a daily thing but needs to be something that you commit to doing and prioritise.
5. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn.
Adopt an inclusion mindset where you're curious, you want to learn, you want to grow and where you see mistakes as magic, because they help you grow. Stay open, curious, and don't fear mistakes. Get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. On this journey of inclusion, you are guaranteed to feel uncomfortable at some point. The feeling of uncomfortable is a sign that you are growing, embrace that feeling. Don't let that feeling scare you into analysis paralysis or into perfectionism so you end up doing nothing.
6. Choose courage over fear.
Don't be silent. When you're silent nothing changes. Be kind to yourself, it feels like a tightrope that you're walking along that you might fall off at any time, but know that there’s no real tight rope. It just feels that way, it's a conversation. Conversations are what help us create an inclusive culture by you being brave. By having conversations you really don't want to have, you learn, the other person learns and you give permission to other people around you to also have those conversations and to be brave.
7. Take action.
Who have you spoken to today?. Who are you an ally to?. Who are you sponsoring and mentoring? Whatever you've done, celebrate what you've done on this journey of inclusion and understand the magic of it. If you are yet to do anything, take consistent small actions to start and celebrate each action you take.
It's the small things we all do that are going to make the biggest impact.
It is scary, but we each need to take small consistent steps to help create the culture we want in organisations. Organisations need to do work to remove all other barriers. If we have internal barriers. We are the only ones that can remove them. If we all spend time focusing on ourselves, owning inclusion, owning the fact that how we show up impacts inclusion, we have a better chance of actually have the inclusive organisations that we really wanted to have.
Let me know what one action you plan to take or if you’d like to chat to help come up with one action.